Thanks to Disney, we all know what a deer looks like: a tufted butt with speckles spread, skinny stick legs, and beautifully brown eyes and fur.

It never got old, deer-spotting in New Zealand, a spectator sport from the seats in our rental car.

Why were these deer being bred, if not for their disarmingly good looks?

Fiordland deer make good venison pie.

And if it seemed like there were many more females, I later learned that many males have their velvet antlers removed when they’re big enough.

Why do male deers even have antlers?

Because their soft, downy body would be no match for anything otherwise!

To have something sprout from your head at a rate of 2cm/day…that’s pretty wild.

To have a herd of deer bolt and buckle from you as you scream for baby Bambi behind a wired fence…that’s pretty instructive.

Disney fed my dreams and my baby darlings chewed it out.

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